lee_fallon | PSL - Post Mardi Gras Party

From here.

They take the stairs more slowly tonight than the did the first time they'd come here together, not quite in as big of a rush, and certainly more sober. Lee let's them in, but he doesn't move to take off his blazer this time, just goes into the kitchen, setting down the cup of glitter and going into his pantry. He's fitted it with a pretty reasonable system of wine racks, and the bottles of wine take up fifty percent of the space, the other half nearly empty because Lee is terrible about stocking food at home.

He looks through a few bottles until he finds a sweet Vouvray from 2014 that promises to be pretty good. It's not as high in alcohol as he promised Eric, but it will be very easy to drink, and quickly, so not a bad place to start. He pulls a Riesling while he's in there as well, and he takes both to the counter to remove the corks, smelling each cork as he pulls it from the bottle.

Taking down two glasses, he fills them a third of the way with the Vouvray. "Okay, this is just the tasting pour," Lee says, meeting Eric's eyes. "After I show you how to taste it, I'll fill the glass the rest of the way," he assures Eric.

"First things first, hold the glass by the stem, not the bowl, like this," he shows Eric, grabbing the stem of his own glass about half an inch from the bowl, hooking his index finger around it and securing it with his thumb. "Then you smell it," he goes on, tipping his glass close to his nose, taking a heavy inhalation of the wine's bouquet. "And once your nose is full of the smell, you take a little in your mouth. But don't swallow right away," he says, giving Eric a heated little grin. "Roll it around in your mouth for a minute, over your tongue, then swallow." He gives Eric a demonstration, taking a small sip, holding it in his mouth, tasting all the nuances of the flavors, then swallowing.

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Lee sets his glass down on the counter when Eric comes back in the apartment and he thinks about Eric coming home every night, of them living in the same place, of Lee getting a real job and growing old together and getting to have a whole life. Lee hasn't had a hope for this kind of life in twelve years, and he loves and hates how much he wants it.

"Come here, baby," he says, walking around the counter and opening his arms to Eric. He can smell the cigarette smoke on Eric's skin, and as awful as it is, he's already started to associate the smell with Eric, and the sense memory makes his stomach go right with a little flash of arousal.

I dump my jacket and hitch my towel as I cross to him. He's so beautiful that it takes my breath away. His eyes, his hips...so fucking gorgeous.

I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder.

"This feels like coming home," I say softly.

Lee knows that Eric means him, not the house, and it makes his chest feel warm with happiness and love. He wraps his arms around Eric’s shoulders and holds him, his palms rubbing warmth into the skin of Eric’s back. “I know what you mean,” he says, nuzzling the side of Eric’s face. “I love this,” he adds, pressing a kiss to Eric’s hairline. “I want to keep it. I want to keep you,” he whispers into Eric’s ear.

"I'm all yours. You can't scrape me off," I reply, settling in with my head on his shoulder. It feels good to hold him and to be held. No one's just held me in a really long time. Lee makes me feel safe and secure in a way I'd never I could feel again after my parents.

Lee stops rubbing at Eric’s back and shoulders, wrapping his arms tightly around Eric again, just holding him close. He believes what Eric says, but there’s a fear that everything is suddenly going to change, that Eric will come to his senses and realize that Lee is too old for him, or that he can’t deal with the cancer. Of course all those things are fair and Lee can’t make Eric stay if he doesn’t want to, but Lee’s so invested, so in love, and he’s not ready for it to end, now or ever.

“God, I love you,” he says, his eyes closed and his heart on his sleeve. “I really love you."

"Yeah. Yeah, me too," I say softly. "I love you so much. It's intense, you know? Hot and fast and crystal clear. Like I've been waiting my whole life to meet you. You're the one, Philippe," I add, barely a whisper, then I turn my head so I can kiss his neck.

Lee almost laughs, because he hasn’t heard someone who wasn’t his mother use his real name in years, but he also shivers for the same reason. It’s intimate, that name, and it belong to Eric now. He’s the only person in Darrow who knows his full name, and it feels meaningful and important. He takes a deep breath, sliding his fingers into Eric’s hair. “I feel like I’ve been waiting to meet you too,” he admits softly. “I want you to have everything, Eric. Every part of me, everything you need."

That's when I move up his neck, along the line of his jaw, and then kiss him soundly, swallowing all his wishes and promises to make them mine. Every word he says, mine. Every thought he has, mine. I lay my claim and I'm never letting go.

And then there's a knock at the door and let go of him like he burns.

"Pizza!" I grin and dash for the door, in my towel of course.

Lee does laugh this time, and he ducks into the hallway, stark naked and not wanting to scar the poor delivery person for life. He listens to the transaction, loves that Eric is signing his name on the receipt and adding the tip for him. He stays hidden around the corner until Eric closes the door, then he goes into his kitchen and gets out plates and pulls some paper towels as napkins. Again, he feels so young around Eric, like the last ten years of heaviness has been lifted off him, like he has a future again.

“Do you want any wine?” he asks, setting the plates down. “I have been and tequila too."

"I'll take a beer," I say as I dish out a slice for him and a slice for myself. Mushrooms and peppers fall all over the place and I pile them back on. "God, this smells so good, you have no idea. I'm starving."

It's so weird, it feels like we've been doing this forever. Like...it's just familiar, you know? Easy. Not our first real meal together. I guess the pie counts, but that's not what I mean. I don't know what I mean.

Lee goes to the refrigerator and gets a beer, digging a bottle opener out of the drawer and popping the top off. He sets the open bottle of beer next to Eric’s plate, then walks around to get his own, grabbing that and his glass of wine and taking them to the couch, hoping Eric will follow.

“I haven’t eaten dinner naked in a long time,” he remarks, setting his glass on the coffee table. “I like it,” he adds with a smile, taking a bite of his pizza and groaning at how good it tastes. This is easy, between them, comfortable, and it’s hard to believe they’ve only been together a couple of weeks. It feels like a lifetime. “I like having you around all the time,” he comments.

"God, 'cause I don't want to be anyplace else," I tell him. "I mean, well, we should probably go to my place so the babies don't think I've left them forever, but once we're married we'll be there. I mean, I'm paying for it, so...do you like it? Would you rather, um, find somewhere a little, um...I don't know. Nicer?'

I like my house. I think it's cute and it's just the right size for two. I've gotten rid of Todd's things because they just made me miss him too much. It's kind of empty and it's not really decorated and my furniture is all second hand...but it's home. It's my home.

“I like your house,” Lee replies, and the fact that Eric’s taken his thoughts about marriage to heart so fully makes his own heart soar. “I don’t have any money,” he adds after a moment. “I mean, besides what ends up in my bank account, and the little bit I get for my consulting. I can help you pay your mortgage, though,” he continues. “Once I don’t have this place anymore.”

He takes a breath, then grabs his wine, taking a drink. “When I move in, would you be okay if I did some shopping?” he asks carefully. “Not that there’s anything wrong with things now. Just, put my mark on it a little bit."

"No, God, go right ahead," I laugh around a bite of pizza. Then I have the manners to chew and swallow before continuing. "It's half empty now so I know it looks like shit. Bring anything you like. I've got some money saved up, too. We could get some nicer things."

“I don’t own anything,” Lee says with a laugh. “Well, that stuff over there in the shrine, my wine and my clothes, that’s about it,” he goes on. “I just, I want you to know I’m there,” he adds, trying to explain carefully. He doesn’t add anything about wanting Eric to have something to remember him by, but that’s sort of wha the means. If he doesn’t find a way to beat this, he wants Eric to remember he was there, even if only for a few months. It’s probably insane, but he wants to marry Eric while he still has the chance. He’s not sure if it makes it worse or better, but he wants a wedding, he wants Eric to have one too. And he’s in love, he’s so in love, and that’s what marriage is about. Loyalty, support, love, and desire. And he has all of those things, wants all of those things with Eric, for the rest of his life.

"Then we'll make it ours, Lee," I tell him, suddenly serious. "We should start on Sunday. I don't work Sunday and we can go shopping. Rent a truck if we need to. Really make it ours."

I take a swig of beer.

"And then you could be there and get out of here. You wouldn't even need to make me a key."

Lee blinks, takes a breath, and set his plate on the coffee table. “Are you asking me to move in with you?” he asks softly, his eyes meeting Eric’s.

"I'm...kinda...telling you. You're going to move in with me," I say a little hesitantly.

Lee looks at Eric for a long moment, eyes staring and expression blank. But he can’t maintain it for long, his smile breaking through, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’ll be packed by Saturday night,” he says, knowing full well he won’t need nearly that long. Leaning across the couch, he slides his hand around the back of Eric’s neck, pressing their mouths together in a kiss. “I’m moving in with you,” he says, his lips brushing Eric’s, smiling like he doesn’t know how to stop.

I can't stop smiling, even as I'm kissing him. Pizza and beer and wine, I can taste more than him. But he's there. The smell of him. I reach out to hold him, my hand skimming over acres of bare skin.

"No reason to wait," I say, already in over my head since I dove right in. No dipping a toe...I just fucking went for it. And now here I am, with everything I've ever wanted.

God this is everything, all at once. But they’re on track really, considering. They fell in love in three hours, became boyfriends in two weeks, and now they’re moving in together. Eric’s right: there’s no reason to wait. They both want this, and yeah, it’s fast, but there’s no denying how Lee feels. This is everything he’s ever wanted, love and commitment, and Eric’s right there with him. There’s no reason for caution or holding back. If things don’t change, Lee won’t be around much past his birthday. There’s no time to waste.

“Saturday, I’ll bring my things,” Lee says, moving closer to Eric, dinner at least momentarily forgotten. “Sunday, we’ll go shopping.” He presses a warm, lingering kiss to Eric’s lips then, holding him close. “God, I can’t believe this is happening,” he breathes, not moving away, staying close. “It feels perfect, so right,” he adds, kissing a wet path down the side of Eric’s neck.

I wait a second to see if I'm going to freak out or decide this is insane or maybe realize things are moving at supersonic speed...but none of that comes. Only calm. Only peace. Only a certainty that I want to spend the rest of Lee's life with him and I don't want to do it commuting between two homes. I want one home. Our home.

"Yes," I say, tipping my head to give him better access. "Yes, God, I want this. I want you."

Lee sucks a soft, wet kiss into the side of Eric’s neck, one hand pressed to the other side, holding him close. “I want you too,” he breathes, mouthing his way up to Eric’s jaw. “God, Eric, this is incredible,” he says, pulling closer. “I’m not afraid, I’m not nervous, I don’t feel like we’re being crazy,” he goes on. “Do you?” he asks, moving enough to look into Eric’s eyes. “Are you nervous?"

"Not even a little. It feels right. Like, I keep expecting...a lot of things. To snap out of it, or for you to wake up, or to find out something that really kills it...but you're perfect and I'm so in love I can't even catch my breath when I think about you. I'm not nervous. I want this. I want all of it, right now," I tell him, eyes on his, everything of me out there for him to see.

“God, me too,” Lee replies, looking deeply into Eric’s eyes. “And I’m, I’m not going to snap out of anything. You’re young and gorgeous and, yeah, you have a past, but we all do. But you want me, you want to be with me, and I want to be with you.” He stops, shaking his head and taking a breath. “Anything else, we can face it together. I know we can. I’m not afraid, Eric."